I've been going through a really annoying phase of pregnancy . I look at my friends who are past the first trimester, who are out of the danger zone and are showing and, if I'm honest, I'm jealous. They can be pregnant and proud. They're not crippled by nausea morning, noon and night. Hell yes, I'm jealous and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I hate keeping the biggest news of my life a secret, and I'm very sick of feeling sick and exhausted.
I've been feeling like this for a while now, but today my paranoia took on a new edge - I'm now paranoid that I'll look back on this time and been really cross with myself for feeling like this. When I'm large and uncomfortable, and everyone knows; will I look back on this and regret not enjoying the relative flatness of my stomach, the ability to fit into all my clothes and the privacy of it all? I can't help the way I feel, but getting paranoid about how my future self will feel about myself now, really takes the soding biscuit! Only I can be this mental, trying to second guess the future. I really hope I don't pass my craziness onto the bairn! Let's hope it inherits Alex's level-headedness!
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